Lessons from the latest Black Sheep blockbuster movie, the Exes Baggage starred by the real-life ex-lovers, Angelica Panganiban as Pia and Carlo Aquino as Nix.
Warning: The following content is based and extracted from the lessons that the writer learned from the movie. There could be spoilers so read at your own risk!
The Exes Baggage is one of the few movies that showed the real colors of love and relationship. The circumstances weren’t sugar coated to fit the expectations of the viewers. The movie introduced how “millennial” relationship goes; liberated in some way but beautiful and lesson-packed.
Pia, a broker has been through 7 different relationships. Each relationship has its own story and ending but the worst for her was having a relationship with a married man without knowing that she’s playing the mistress part from the start.
Nix, on the other hand, has loved once, a long-term relationship which almost ended up in marriage with Dwein played by Coleen Garcia. But unfortunately, Dwein changed her mind and left him waiting in the altar. A miserable heartbreak for him which shattered his heart and left him afraid to love again.
The two were opposite in every way. Pia is liberated, has been through different relationship, happy go lucky, outspoken and a party lover while Nix was more of the conservative type who doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink too much, more laid back and quite.
Two opposing personalities but they happened to create a beautiful love story. So if you are going to ask me what I’ve learned from them, here are a few of the points that I would like to share with my readers:
Top 8 Life Lessons from Exes Baggage
If you are scared to love again after being heartbroken from your previous relationship, then you probably didn’t love at all.
Ironic, because the usual emotional defense mechanism of a person is not to go back from the things that hurt us. But love is such a beautiful disaster that you would want to feel over and over again even if it means getting hurt over again. Masarap magmahal and the happiness that we get from loving and being loved is beyond the pain. So if you’re scared to love again just because you were hurt, then maybe you didn’t feel the beauty of love after all.
Goodbyes are always painful.
Leaving and being left behind is always painful. The end of a person’s existence in your life is something that we are not ready to face and accept especially during the first stage of break up. It’s the feeling of not being accustomed to a life without the other person. The goodbye means change from.the usual routine that you were accustomed of. No more sweet good mornings, no more waking up next to each other with bodies intertwined, no more midnight sex, no more sweet nothings, no more late night talks and hanky pankies. And just like that, goodbyes leave the two people to readjust their lives on their own.
There’s sweetness in goodbye.
Hypocrite if you may add, but believe me there’s beauty in goodbyes. Initially, the pain is so powerful that it makes you bitter and question all the things that happened as to why it happened and some even comes to a point where they question whether they were loved for real or used to fill in the other person’s need. Just like the movie, the pain of Pia’s leaving made Nix bitter making him say some awful words about Pia such as saying that her armpit smells bad and she snores loudly.
But the beauty of their goodbye was revealed during their realization of whom they become after the break-up. They both grew more mature and started to realized the happy memories they once shared. It made Nix realize that he hasn’t moved on from Pia yet and that he loves her more than he loved her ex. It made him realized of how much of an ass he was when he let Pia and Ogie leave without at least trying to make them stay. It made him realized that he wasn’t ready for a new relationship when he started dating Pia and that broke them apart.
Save the relationship as much as you can but let go if it’s drowning you both.
Just like the movie, Pia did try to save the relationship the best she could but when reality slapped her hard, she knew right there and then that she has to let it go. No matter how much you love a person, you should learn to set limitations and boundaries and know when to give up and accept that it’s finally over.
Every break up is painful but just like what the quote says, whatever that doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. No matter how painful the ending, it will make you a better person. It’s better to give up even when it hurts so much than lose your self-respect, self-value and worth in the process of holding onto the relationship that’s drowning you both.
Love hard with no Regrets
When you’re in a relationship, you willingly invest your time, effort, and love without question. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Love hard, love without restrictions, don’t hold back! So when it ends, you know that you’ve tried to make it work, you tried to keep it alive. You will survive the pain of break up, that’s for sure. But moving on with regrets of what could’ve had happened and what if’s is devastating and could prolong the process of moving on.
Salute to Pia because she loved Nix so hard without holding back. And when the relationship ended, she knew that she tried to make it work but she needed to let him go to give him the freedom to settle his hang-ups with his ex’s baggage.
Make peace with your past so it won’t haunt you
Exes may remain friends but only a few can do that. What’s attainable is making peace with your ex and giving closure to the relationship. Closure helps you both so you could move on faster and realize the faults and wrong decisions you made in the past. So when you get involved in another relationship, you can apply your learnings and avoid making the same mistakes again.
Just like Pia and Nix, after all the blunt words they said about one another, they had the courage to talk things out and discuss what happened between them. Pia got her answers, whether Nix loved her more than he loved his ex, and in return, Nix realized that he loved Pia more than he loved Dwein and that he still loves her.
Things may be complicated between them, but the fact that their feelings remain mutual gives them both a fighting chance to give their relationship another chance. The question is; will they find their way back to each other’s arms again? Or will they remain exes without the baggage?
Don’t mix your past with your present
Past should remain in your past while your present is your chance at future. Don’t mix your past and compare it with your future because aside from the fact that no two people are alike, no two situations are the same.
Learn from your past and apply your learnings to your present situation but don’t bring it up to ruin or complicate your present which may lead you to lose your future.
That was the main issue with Pia and Nix because they both have unfinished business with their past relationship. It haunts them both and complicated their relationship. It brought the insecurity out of Pia while Pia’s insistence to keep quiet regarding her previous relationship with a married man infuriated Nix.
New relationships should provide security on where you stand and not stir doubt on where your future lies.
Don’t get into a relationship if you’re not emotionally ready.
Start your relationship right from the start. Don’t get into a relationship for the sake of fun, or having someone to rely on because that won’t do you any good.
Before going into a relationship, reassess your emotional status whether you are over with your past or not. Don’t drag another person into your own mess and spare your next lover from the pain of loving you and your exes baggage.
Being in a relationship is fun but if you are looking forward for a lifetime commitment, stabilize your heart’s status first and ensure that you are ready to start fresh without the hang-ups of the past.
Talastas’ Point of View
We encourage everyone to watch Exes Baggage. Whether you’re in a relationship, stuck in the moving on stage, limbo phase or just simply single by choice, this movie will touch your hearts.
It is not the usual cliche movie. It shows the real troubles that every couple faces in a relationship.
The movie will teach you the value of forgiveness, providing closure to yourself whether or not it was handed out to you or not, and acceptance of the things that’s out of our control.
Learn some lessons while having fun and watch Exes Baggage!